The Quest of Vivian O. Reed (1924-2010)

Hi Everyone,

Well, I gave you all my word that I would dedicate an entire post to my Grandmother who passed away last week. I am here now to follow through on that. The picture above is one I found of her ("Grammy," her grandchildren called her) with me when I had just been born. This picture was taken 20 years ago, come next month. That is her holding me as a baby.
I use this because I cannot stress enough how important family was to her.

Vivian Odh was born on March 30, 1924, in Winnetka, Illinois. She was raised in Evanston, Illinois, with her parents, and her younger sister, Audrey Pearl. Vivian (called "Vivie" by those who knew her) attended Northwestern University, and graduated within days of being married to Thomas Reed, my grandfather. They were married in June of 1947. They lived in Illinois, Texas, Minnesota, Indiana, New York State and Massachusetts.

She raised four children, my aunt, Katherine, my father, Phil, and my uncles, Peter and Kevin. Any of them will tell you that growing up with her was an extraordinary experience. As a devout Christian scientist, she regularly attended church and has an extraordinary base of faith. She loved working with people, particularly with children, and spent many years of her life as a teacher, both in regular school and sunday school. She was patient in dealing with people, even with me back when I was not as easy to talk to. She called us and sent us letters regularly.

There isn't much this post can do to pay justice to the woman that was Vivian Reed. She had a strong, indomitable spirit. Even during the last few weeks, she remained surrounded by relatives who loved her deeply. I was not able to visit her in that time. The nurses who visited her said several times that she would be gone within a day or two. Yet several times, she remained. It was as if she was waiting for someone. My father spent the last three weeks with her, and transcribed a few things she said.

Thinking of a favorite memory of her is difficult now. There are many memories I have of her fondly describing her rich experience of life to me. I didn't always understand, or appreciate her wisdom. Sometimes I wouldn't listen because I wanted to do my own thing. Later, I came to appreciate listening to Grammy's insights. I also enjoyed listening to her tell stories about my dad when he was growing up. She also told stories about me, so I never got too judgemental.

Sometimes Grammy may have seemed aloof or in her own world, but those who knew her knew that this was not the case. She cared not only for her family, but her friends, and her neighbors. Anyone who knew her for a length of time knew how lucky they were to have Vivian O. Reed in their life. I am just beginning to appreciate now just how lucky I was in knowing her.

My sincerest thanks go out to her, and also to my grandfather, Thomas, to whom she was married for 62 years. He is a lucky man. I wish the best for him, for Vivian's family, her children, her grandchildren, including me, and her friends in Massachusetts, back in Colorado, and elsewhere. I will give thanks for the gift of her life, and will celebrate the legacy of Vivian O. Reed.

I don't know how much more I can say that will pay adequate tribute to my grandmother. I will just say that her life here was a gift to all who were touched by it. Her love, her light, will always shine. I'll have more up soon. I apologize for the lateness of this post. It has taken a week to gather up the appropriate thoughts and feelings for this post. See ya soon.

This is the Daily Reeder, Over&out.

An Emotional Day for Many

Hi Everyone,

Well, I've come back in the middle of the week again. Maybe the reason I keep returning in the middle of the week is that I keep having a lot to write about. However, today I am less excited than I was last week. Today finds me more sad, but not necessarily a bad kind of sad. The kind of sad that is oddly peaceful. Today, I will wax somewhat emotional, but I promise it will be for a good reason.

This past friday, I talked about the theater class I really enjoyed taking this semester. Well, yesterday was the last day of it, the day of the final. Our final was to read a monologue we had written. We were to perform it for the class and ourselves. We were continuing from last wednesday. I read through it throughout the morning.

I decided to read my monologue near the beginning. My monologue was written from the perspective of a teenager back in school. I was talking to a friend, or to someone who I could depend upon. No one else understood me, so I told this person, emotionally, that I felt alone, and that I was willing to have people in my life, I concluded by asking if they would be my friend.

I asked with some emotion, since this is how I often feel. I often feel that I am without a reliable friend or counterpart, outside of my family. Since my best friend moved away, to Washington state, back in 2005, I have been mostly by myself, believing, like the character, that I was alone in my perception of the world.

This is why yesterday was so important. After each of us finished our monologues, which some of the people had trouble performing, we talked about our experience in the class. One girl, in particular, said many of the things I had felt about the course. She said basically many of the things I was going to say.

As I went through middle and high school, I became self-conscious and reserved. I rarely opened up to anybody. As I mentioned about this class, I was able to interact, ironically enough in an acting class, more openly than I have, at least recently. This was very important to me. I said as much, and then we left class and resolved to connect via the best way we knew how... Facebook. We even started a facebook group for people in this section of this class. Sadly, the professor will move St. Louis next fall, but I was able to find the aforementioned facebook group, and yesterday I was voraicously friending the people whom I recognized from the class.

Often, I have felt like I didn't appreciate something enough while it was happening to me. Have you ever gotten that? Well, I often come across this feeling. I didn't have that with this class. Even though I was sad yesterday and today, and for the last few weeks, I certainly appreciated it much as I experienced it. I feel like I really learned something about interacting.

In improvisation, we learned about "saying yes" going along with a story someone else states. For instance, if someone in the act asks "Why is your hand on fire?" responding as if your hand really was on fire. I often have trouble saying "yes" to life's little "improvs." I want there to be the right idea that will make things work. In the improv, however, I learned that it works better if you go into it without an idea, and let one randomly emerge. This summarizes why this was so important.

That was yesterday. This morning, when I woke up, I was told by my family that my Grandmother passed away early this morning. She was my father's mother, and she lived to be 86 years old. I cannot think of many things to say about her. I could not possibly say everything that needs to be said in one blog post. I will say some words here, and elaborate further on Friday.

I will say that she was a wonderful person. She was devoted to her family, children and grandchildren. She was also a devout Christian Scientist, and a teacher for many years. She was a good friend to those she knew and made an big impact on the people she met, even the hospice nurses who helped her for the last few weeks. She passed away peacefully, having been at home, receiving care for three weeks.

I will give a full biographical sumnation of my Grandmother on friday. For now I will just say that she is survived by her husband, my grandfather, her sister, her four children, my aunt, two uncles and my father, seven grandchildren, my cousins, my brother, and, by your humble servant. Her love and her light will always shine. See you all on friday!

This is the Daily Reeder, Over&out.