My View On Gay Marriage

Hi everyone,

Well, today, my home state of California's Supreme Court handed down its much awaited ruling on Proposition 8. It ruled that gay couples married before the proposition passed last November could remain married, but those seeking to marry now are banned from doing so. The time has come for me and you, the reeders, to look at the issue of gay marriage.

I swore I would not get involved with the Miss California media circus a month back. I do not agree with Ms. Prejean's views, but I believe that she has a right to them, and she has a right to express them, however wrong they are. What I did object to, aside from Perez Hilton's attacks on her, was her parading around as the victim, thus villifying those who disagree with her views. This is all the commentary I will offer on that episode, since I have little more desire to spend time commenting on it than I have to comment on the Octomom episode way back when. Is it just me, or are these things coming at us much faster lately?

Anyway, I recognize that this may be a sensitive issue for some of you. I am aware that in commenting on something so emotional, I may be playing with a loaded rifle. But this issue is important to me, because it has to do with civil rights, something the Reeder here cares very much about. And the Reeder is also not about shying away from these issues, even if they are touchy subjects. So, here is my take on gay marriage and homosexuality in general.

As I said above, I believe that Ms. Prejean's view and those who side with her are wildly off the mark. I don't think they are wrong for feeling the way they do. I just think the view is not correct, almost like believing that 1+1=3. There are a few key reasons why I believe this.

First off, you will hear many opponents of gay marriage describe it as "immoral." The words vary, but they are often to this effect. Immoral? How, exactly? Because it is foreign, alien to you? This is an easy trap to fall into. If you don't understand something, you tend to be afraid of it, to think of it as bad, to automatically assume it is wrong and your way is right. In many cases, your way is perfectly fine, and the other way may be flawed or wrong. Here, this is just false. Many gay people have just as strong a moral and ethical compass as the average person.

Some of the more extreme opponents describe homosexual people as if they were describing pedophiles. Why all the judgement? Why all the condemnation? Homosexuals are not seeking to express an inner darkness. They are not expressing hate. They are expressing love, the same way you and I can express love for our families. Why must their opportunity be stamped out? Why must it be crushed? Because you and I don't understand it at all?

There are many things in this world we do not understand, but they may be beautiful in their own way. Let us not crush something that may be beautiful and wonderful in its own right only because we don't understand it at all. You often hear people proclaim "Marriage is between a man and a woman," end of discussion. Says who? What works for you may not work for the next guy. Different people have different ways of expressing things. I don't understand homosexuality at all. I don't ever plan on being homosexual. I only plan on marrying a woman. But the way I express my love is not for everyone. It is for me. Everyone else should be able to express their love however their heart directs them.

Second, you hear many opponents claiming that their rights are being infringed upon. There are many variations to this as well. It comes down to their right to feel what they want and the religious doctrine regarding homosexuality. The key to these lines of reasoning is that they need you to feel that there is some big, bad, scary blob of people coming to get you. They're gonna take away your right to be straight and feel the way you want about those homosexuals. This is what the anti-gay ads talk about.

Nowhere have I seen any indication that gay people or those who support their rights want to take away people's right to think about gays as they please. Still less have I found any indication that they want to make anybody not be straight. I've known some people who I knew were gay for sure and none of them showed any signs of wanting to do anything but live their lives and express their romantic feelings the way others do.

Then there is the religious doctrine behind this. Religions, most prominently Christianity and Islam, have galvanized movements against the recognition of homosexuals in many areas, not just marriage, but here in the US, even military service. All I can say to this is to point out that since time immemorial, religious doctrine has also been used to justify racist and sexist attitudes. Those attitudes are now unacceptable almost everywhere. I realize that these are not entirely analogous, but one cannot deny that there are many similarities in this regard.

The third claim, and this could be seen as a variation of the "immoral" line mentioned above, is that allowing homosexuals any degree of recognition will bring about the downfall of civilization. You know, just like allowing women to vote brought about the downfall of civilization, or desegregating schools for minorities, making them truly equal, brought about the downfall of civilization. Every time some new group of people wants to be granted the same status as the ruling majority, the claim that it will mean the end of society as we know it is brought out again and again. And again and again, it has been proven wrong.

But beneath all these claims is one central theme: the inability to see the humanity in the others. When many of the opponents think of homosexuals, they don't see human beings. They see either sinners, or queers, or fags. Funny people. Weird people. To them, they aren't as valuable as people, and are to be treated likewise. Never mind that they may be just seeking the same shot at love, at validation, that you and I take for granted. Never mind that they may have similar needs as we do, that may be expressed differently. No, they just...I don't know. i just don't understand why this must be denied them. What if you loved someone, but you weren't allowed to express it? How much would that hurt you? Could you imagine the pain?

One last thing I would like to say on this controversial topic. A friend of my dad's is a great guy. He often comes to visit us on weekends. He is easygoing and kind. He has always been a good friend to us. He is a good father to a girl whom I met, and whom I know will grow up to be a fine woman. There is one thing, though: he is gay, and he and his partner adopted the daughter. But if ever there was an example of a person one would aspire to be, in terms of character, this man would probably be one of them.

One thing I'd like to say to those who oppose gay marriage or the rights of gays: why? I don't understand the reasoning behind this. These are people who are more like us than we realize. Because for all of our differences, we do have a lot in common. Many of these people's moral compasses are just as sound as ours, they can exercise just as much control over their lust, but their manner of expression is alien to us. These are people with whom we have more in common than rhetoric would suggest, who would like a chance to express love in their own way. All I ask you, the opponent of gay rights to look at the human side of this issue, and ask yourself again, why? And ask yourself if, perhaps, you may allow them that chance after all. You needn't defend it or approve of it, or even understand it. Just allow it. That is all I ask of you.

Well, that's it for my essay on this topic. I hope this hasn't been to fiery an issue for you to look at. Because my intention is not to stir up argument, my intention is to hear some practical takes on issues. So write me back with your views if you wish, and, to those who disagree with me, give the task I just described a try, if only once, just try.

To switch gears to some lighter news, today, President Obama announced his newest pick to replace outgoing Justice Souter on the supreme court. Her name is Sonia Sotomayor, a Puerto Rican woman from the Bronx. She was appointed to a circuit court under President Bush 1, and then moved up by President Clinton. Knowing what I've heard so far about her, I'd say she's a very intelligent person, and I think she'd make a fine Supreme Court Justice. Well, I'll end it here, and write back to me with your opinions on the newest Supreme Court pick if you wish as well. That's all for now, thanks for listening, and come back anytime.

This is the Daily Reeder, Over&out.